Running with Kurt

I made Kurt go running with me today. He is a great guy. He is gainfully employed, owns his own home, cute and easy to talk to. I really wish I could find someone for him. He is younger than I am and that makes me a little uncomfortable. I am hoping that at the dinner party next week he can make a love connection with one of my friends. Here's to hoping.

Shirley

Someone Please Stick a Fork in My Eye!

You know a date is going horribly wrong when this is all you can think about. To be fair - I had a raging headache and my date just seemed to add to the problem. It wasn't a bad date, conversation was good, I think it's a bad ideas to do back to back dates. Too much comparing. By me. Which isn't fair. Bob really is a nice guy and he has a lot to offer a girl. Just not me. I know that I won't be going out with him again because that's just not nice.

I think he was trying to prolong the date and I was trying to figure out how to get out of it without being rude. I think he got the hint? He didn't follow-up or ask for another date. Whew!

Shirley

Can We Slow This Down?

My date with Henry went well. I got to the place early and ended up doing a little shopping. I ended up with a new outfit that I promptly went into the dressing room to change into and ended up wearing on the date. I know. That sounds bad. I may have a problem with shopping, one that I need to get under control.

The date was fun. I actually planned what we did. I took him to the planetarium and then to dinner. I called it "Nerd Fun" with Shirley. Luckily he seemed to like it. I had a bunch of questions that he had to answer at the different stations. It was a fun way to get to know him better and find out if he has any hidden talents. Which he does, he can balance stuff on his head and walk up and down stairs. I know this because he told me and then demonstrated. It was pretty funny.

After dinner we were walking to the car in the freezing cold, he gave me a hug and said "So, is it okay that we are going so slowly?" To which I responded "Sure". Why the slow pace? It was explained that he doesn't want to rush this because he likes me. That comment made more sense in the moment. After while driving home, I wondered what would have happened if I would have said No. Part of me is glad that he is going so slowly because I probably would have freaked out and went running for the hills if he were going fast and part of me wishes that it was a little faster. However, now that I know it makes it easier for me to relax and try to just enjoy this process.

I'm a little neurotic so having someone lay it out there for me calms me down, a bit. I still am intrigued by Henry and want to get to know him better. What I do like about Henry is I always feel good about me when I am with him. Why? Henry asked a question and I responded with thank you. How do you recover from stupid moments like this. I do it all the time. I keep thinking he must think I am an idiot. But then he asks me out again. I don't think he likes dumb girls so it must not be as bad as I think it is.

We are going out again next week.

Shirley

Dating Without Intent?

Do you think it's okay to go on a date without intent? By intent I mean I know I don't want anything else out of it besides a night out with a semi-interesting individual. I know that this particular person would like to have a relationship develop, but I just want to be friends.

I have told said person that I want to just be friends. Just not that direct with my words. I think maybe I need to have a talk with him to be more direct with my feelings. I have a hard time with that. I know, I'm working on it.

I accepted a date with Bob and then thought, maybe I shouldn't have. I think it's unfair to say yes because I can't reciprocate the feelings. What are your thoughts on this?

One more thing I have a date with Henry on Monday. I will let you know how that goes.

Shirley

Seriously Funny

I spend too much time surfing the Internet looking for interesting information about a wide range of topics. Today, however, I found a new website called Guy Speak it is hilarious there are six guys that answer any and all questions we women have. They each have a different persona: Chic Geek, Funny Guy, Girls BFF, Mystery Man, Reformed Player and my favorite Wise Ass. You specifically ask one of the guys anything anonymously. I was reading some the answers and was laughing my head off. If you have time and are so inclined check it out.

Here is a quick update on me: My Sunday date got cancelled due to work commitments by Henry. That night however, Roger and Kurt (new guy) came over for some dessert - brownies and ice cream. It was a fun night just talking and getting to know Kurt. Always have a great time with Roger.

Kurt is younger than I am and goofy. I like the goofy, not sure about the younger. I think that we could be good friends, don't have a romantic interest in him. I think that he could like one of my single friends. I am having a dinner party in a couple of weeks so maybe there will be a love connection there for him.

That's all for now...

Shirley

Hello Sweetness

There is nothing like being told you are a "breath taken angel."

"Hello Sweet One, good morning. how was your Night? i hope fine. I am just messing around here and i came across your page believe me your page really caught my eyes, all i could say was WOW!!! you are such an breath taken angel, when i saw your page my heart paused for a while and i will like to still pause the heart for you if you will like to come to rescue. You are really an angel , visible angel. i really would love to get to know you better. Maybe exchange email or chat on instant messenger when you are less busy. I hope to read from you sooner.
Regards
Vinny"

Yes, this is an actual email I received today via FaceBook. (Apparently you can send an email to someone without being their "friend.") I'm really starting to worry. My luck seems to fall into the "freaky weirdo" category. Definitely not on my top 10 trait list. However, I may have to steal one of his lines.

Laverne

Dating Coach / Training With Bert

Shirley and I had the opportunity to listen to a dating coach this week. Two of our guy friends even joined us - Chuck and Rick. The coach had some great advice on how to handle the initial meeting, the first 6 weeks (apparently that's the drop off curve), and "best practices" in between. She even addressed being rejected, and then how to reject in a positive way. All good info.

I loved that she was very clear about dating vs. hanging out. They are not the same. (Chuck - were you listening?) And that men and women both play different roles in the process. In order to be successful, you each have to play your part.

A few other items to note:

1. Make a top 10 list of traits you want your future partner to have. The top 5 items are something the person should already possess (and should never be compromised). Items 6-10 can be a work in progress.
2. Don't give the best of you to those who don't invest in you.
3. Continue dating. Don't get "exclusive" too soon. Keep your options open.
4. Act in Faith not Fear - if you do your part He will do His.
5. Remember the 1/3 rd vs. 2/3rd rule: There are more good men/women than jerks and hags. If all you see are the bad ones change your focus.
6. Tell yourself they're just practice. Don't let someone else define how you feel about yourself.
7. Take rejection as part of the process. If they say no, someone else will say yes.
8. Keep kissing to two minutes or less. (Avoid booty calls.)
9. Always leave them wanting more.
10. Enjoy the journey.

Putting this all into practice:

At one of the activities we attended in September I briefly met a guy - we'll name him Bert. Last month I ran into him again at a dance and had the opportunity to talk/dance with him for a bit. After this meeting he requested me to be his friend on FB. Since then, we have exchanged a few emails (all general "getting to know you" info). He is well educated, very kind, and seems to be a great guy.

This week he attended the Dating Coach presentation. She went really long because many people had a lot of questions. Towards the end I saw Bert get up and leave - which was disappointing because I hadn't been able to talk with him before it started. However, when it ended and I headed out of the room I saw that he was still there, just waiting in the hall.

I went right up to him and said hello. We talked for a minute about our birthdays this week (ours are a day a part). I didn't want him to feel like he had to talk to me all night, so after a few minutes I started the "great talking with you" line when he said "we should go do something to celebrate both our birthdays together."

To play my "part" I gave him a direct smile and said "We should. I would love to." Then left it at that. He made a point to talk to me a couple more times that night while everyone was mingling - even offering to get me a drink.

I received an email from him about 24 hours later (what the coach said was an appropriate amount of time to wait before calling/contacting) mentioning that he had a good time, and asking additional questions about my week. He didn't say anything specific about going out - so we'll see what happens. I'll let you know...

Laverne

Thursday's with Henry

I think Thursday must be our day. I can't figure out why we don't go out on the weekends, somehow we just are able to connect during the week. I will have to think about that. Maybe Henry is a super secret spy and works on the weekends taking out bad people...or maybe he is busy with others? Who knows. It was a fun date, we ate then walked around on a perfect fall night and then sat in my car talking for an hour. What is it about this guy that is so appealing because really he is kind of forgetful (I'm not - usually), he's not really a planner (I am), but he is so fun to talk to. I could talk to him all night and I don't think we would run out of things to say. I know that eventually all the stories get told and maybe we wouldn't have anything to say, but for right now I am really enjoying getting to know him better. I do have another date lined up for a Sunday music event. I am really looking forward to it.

Shirley

Henry Drops By...What???

Henry was literally in my neighborhood to drop off something at a store around the corner from me. He called and asked if he could stop by. Umm...ok. My house is a mess, I have no make-up on, I didn't really do my hair and I have food stains on the clothes because of dinner tonight. What do you do?

Run around the house mad dash cleaning, try to throw on a different top, quickly brush my teeth, roll on some lip gloss and empty the dishwasher as fast as I can so I can reload and get all dirty dishes out of the sink, wipe the counter off and put away the toys. He called right as I was putting the last of the dishes into said dishwasher. Whew. I made it.

I don't look great, but it was fun to have him stop by. We have a date scheduled for Thursday.

Shirley

Was it Something I Said?

Henry cancelled our date this weekend. He got sick. I don't have the best record when it comes to cancelled, rescheduled or rain checked dates (see earlier posts), however, I did get a message from Henry that said he still wasn't feeling great, but "I would love to see you soon though." I guess I will wait to see what happens with his follow through.

I have a busy week so it probably won't happen until next week. More details to follow on the plans. So excited. It's going to be a great week!

Shirley