Shirley found this great article for me as we prepare to attend a Mid-Singles Conference in Huntington Beach (yay for CA!). I have an uncle who is a Bishop in the area and has been planning to set me up with a few of his "selections" while there.
Shirley knows my Defense Mode is to quickly assume all the reasons why a guy wouldn't be interested in me, which in turn makes me already "give up" on the experience. I have to say, this is definitely some good advice and something I'm determined to try to do. Besides, I think Shirley is loosing her patience with me as well.
A summary of the article's advice is this:
1. Throw out any and all expectations.
I really like how she says not to lower your expectations, just don't have any. And for those who have seen earlier posts, you'll laugh if you read her reference to Bradly Cooper - totally applicable for me.
2. Wear something you love.
There aren't many times in the life of a single mom when you get to throw on that little black dress with some great heals. She suggests taking the opportunity during a blind date. Plus, it helps put you in a good mood. I totally agree.
3. Open your mind.
Again, I already close myself off at the beginning which makes it hard to get past initial introductions. I really need to do this.
4. Don't complain.
Not sure that this is an issue for me, but I love her advice that "if he complains, just change the subject."
5. Watch the alcohol.
I'll have to work on this one, assuming by "alcohol" she meant "Dr. Pepper."
6. Leave your insecurities at home.
Very hard for me to do. However, I love her line: "Why worry he'll be too good looking and won't think you're cute? Super hot people never go on blind dates."
7. Try something new or weird.
Why not, right?
8. Find the funny.
With a blind date, this is SO not a problem. Even if the laughing isn't during the date, there will be plenty after when describing it all in detail to Shirley. Did I mention this conference includes Speed Dating? Yes, I'm already laughing.
9. Learn more.
Again, why not? If all else fails, get to know more about his profession or hobby just to increase your cache of random knowledge.
10. Get up and do something.
An activity always helps break the ice, or gives you something to talk about.
If you have any advice to add before we take off Thursday, please throw it out! I'm trying to stay positive and learn how to handle these types of opportunities more effectively. At the very least, improve my skills and "lighten up" more about my situation.
Why not, right?
Laverne
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"Spice up your dates with tech"
This article shows an interesting twist on using
technology in dating. It focuses on the actual dating time
(not meeting guys using it), and includes some fun ideas
on how to use it in a positive way.
Laverne
Monday, April 12, 2010
A Weekend of Henry
This past weekend Henry and I went to dinner with his friends, a game with his family and a movie with just us.
Let me start with the friend dinner. His friend who lives in another state came to visit. It was his birthday so a group of us went out. We played games after. Henry is SUPER competitive and I saw a different side of him. He kept getting frustrated with one of his friends that was trying really hard to make him mad. It reminded me of two little boys teasing each other and doing exactly what the other didn't want them to do. I was laughing pretty hard. Henry doesn't really get mad or angry - but he totally scolded the other boy. He told him that he was acting like his ten year old nephew. It was hilarious. He doesn't yell or even raise his voice - you could totally tell that he was annoyed though. He did win almost every game that we played apparently that happens all the time.
Saturday - his brother, Matthew had tickets to a game and we met Mark there. I got to meet Matthew's wife and some the the nieces and nephews. One of the nephews even asked me if I was going to marry Henry. Can you say awkward? Since he is only ten - I guess it's ok for him to ask that question. Also, since Henry wasn't close by to hear this conversation - it made it less embarrassing for me. This particular nephew is Henry's favorite out of all the nieces and nephews. I thought he was adorable and precocious and I totally can see why Henry likes him so much. He made a comment about women folk and babysitting - which, what ten year old do you know that talk like that? He said that he really wishes that he could babysit because he loves babies. Super cute, right?
I will say it's fun meeting Henry's family. It's great seeing the family dynamics and how each brother has a wife that totally works with his personality. Matthew is a little more formal than the other brothers. He seems a little more straight laced. His wife is the same. Mark is more adventurous and so is his wife. John is young and funny and his wife just fits him. I don't really know how to describe it, but each couple has a different personality and they just work. It's really cool. They all have great families and I like them.
Shirley
Let me start with the friend dinner. His friend who lives in another state came to visit. It was his birthday so a group of us went out. We played games after. Henry is SUPER competitive and I saw a different side of him. He kept getting frustrated with one of his friends that was trying really hard to make him mad. It reminded me of two little boys teasing each other and doing exactly what the other didn't want them to do. I was laughing pretty hard. Henry doesn't really get mad or angry - but he totally scolded the other boy. He told him that he was acting like his ten year old nephew. It was hilarious. He doesn't yell or even raise his voice - you could totally tell that he was annoyed though. He did win almost every game that we played apparently that happens all the time.
Saturday - his brother, Matthew had tickets to a game and we met Mark there. I got to meet Matthew's wife and some the the nieces and nephews. One of the nephews even asked me if I was going to marry Henry. Can you say awkward? Since he is only ten - I guess it's ok for him to ask that question. Also, since Henry wasn't close by to hear this conversation - it made it less embarrassing for me. This particular nephew is Henry's favorite out of all the nieces and nephews. I thought he was adorable and precocious and I totally can see why Henry likes him so much. He made a comment about women folk and babysitting - which, what ten year old do you know that talk like that? He said that he really wishes that he could babysit because he loves babies. Super cute, right?
I will say it's fun meeting Henry's family. It's great seeing the family dynamics and how each brother has a wife that totally works with his personality. Matthew is a little more formal than the other brothers. He seems a little more straight laced. His wife is the same. Mark is more adventurous and so is his wife. John is young and funny and his wife just fits him. I don't really know how to describe it, but each couple has a different personality and they just work. It's really cool. They all have great families and I like them.
Shirley
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Henry Update
I got distracted by my life. Not that I have a lot going on - just everyday distractions. Let me start with Henry meeting the kids. I was super nervous all day. I know this sounds strange, but if it had gone badly I would have had to rethink this relationship. I am happy to say it went better than expected. I really worried that Henry would be awkward or uncomfortable around the kids. He wasn't. He was fun and interactive and he totally played with them. It was great to see and honestly I am relieved. It's nice to have that over with and know that in the future doing things with the kids will be ok.
A couple of funny things - my baby - who just turned two, ran to the door when Henry arrived and when she saw him - she said "Daddy?" Yikes. Henry and I just sort of laughed it off. Then later in the night, my son, got on the computer and played one of the songs we have of Henry's. Nice, right? Not super embarrassing just more comical and amusing. I put the kids to bed and Henry came in to pray with us and he offered to sing to Emory - who unfortunately, said No, I want my mom to sing. Yeah. That WAS embarrassing - for me. I am not a great singer.
I'm really glad that I did this, but I am more glad that it went well. Henry and I went out on a date and got to see some of his friends. It was a nice weekend. We have plans for tomorrow. I will post more then.
Shirley
A couple of funny things - my baby - who just turned two, ran to the door when Henry arrived and when she saw him - she said "Daddy?" Yikes. Henry and I just sort of laughed it off. Then later in the night, my son, got on the computer and played one of the songs we have of Henry's. Nice, right? Not super embarrassing just more comical and amusing. I put the kids to bed and Henry came in to pray with us and he offered to sing to Emory - who unfortunately, said No, I want my mom to sing. Yeah. That WAS embarrassing - for me. I am not a great singer.
I'm really glad that I did this, but I am more glad that it went well. Henry and I went out on a date and got to see some of his friends. It was a nice weekend. We have plans for tomorrow. I will post more then.
Shirley
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