Donald & IvanaShirley and I were very lucky to be able to stay with my Aunt & Uncle while attending the Conference last weekend. I've dubbed them Donald & Ivana because they offered 5-star accommodations and the ultimate in local connections. We couldn't have asked for better assistance as we ventured into this new experience and loved dishing the gossip to them each night after a day of adventure. Thank you!
Conference Agenda
There were a number of activities scheduled over the weekend including dances, beach activities, a service project, speed dating, speakers/workshops, Sacrament Meeting, and a Fireside. We even had a day of Disneyland before flying out Monday night - a great way to finish the trip!
Highlights
(1) Donald gave us a short list of guys he suggested we meet. We started with a couple on the list and added a new name each day. This was a huge help in breaking the ice, and narrowing down those who met certain standards. Every guy we met was really great. Seriously. They all either gave me a call to initiate an introduction (simply based on Donald's request) or followed up directly. They also took time to visit with Shirley and I whenever they saw us, and actually hung out with us during some of the activities. Specific boy details will be held until the end...and yes, there are a couple!
Totally impressive. I couldn't believe that the guys were a) awesome, normal guys and b) they actually followed up. Great job!
(2) Shirley and I sucked it up and took a seat at the speed dating table. Sadly, I think it was the wrong table (wrong night, wrong room, wrong city...). They were set up in a horseshoe with girls on the inside and boys on the outside. The boys would rotate to the chair on their right after 3 minutes (and a bell rings), making their way around the room.
Can I just say here that I really did NOT want to go, but I took one for the team or at least for Laverne. I guess that's what friends do.
My first encounter sat down, put his tattooed arms on the table, then proceeded to give me the specifics about cage fighting. Apparently he's a cage fighter. From Nevada. And there is a match in June that I really should get back to CA to see. I politely listened for 2.5 minutes then watched as he filled in his "I enjoyed talking to you today" card with his name and contact info, and handed it over. I wasn't sure how my semi-blank stare won him over, but for a minute I felt special, then noticed he pulled one out for every girl at the end of his speech.
There were a few other characters (including a guy with 5 kids who giggled when answering questions), but no one with real potential at sparking an interest with me. There were even random question strips distributed on the table to help facilitate conversation, but everyone I picked up had some association with death or dying. I may have wished for it a couple of times that night, but really didn't feel like talking about it.
The idea of quickly meeting a few people and breaking the ice with a large group this way does have potential. However, if the quality isn't there, the only thing it accomplishes is losing your voice. A small room with 50 close conversations taking place really takes its toll.
(3) Frozen yogurt in CA rocks! Shirley and I hit 4 different places in 3 days. We tried lots and lots of different flavors and discussed the merits of certain varieties, toppings and decor. (I know, totally lame when we are supposed to be meeting boys). I especially liked YogurtLand. That story to come...
I am now totally in LOVE...with frozen Yogurt. I can't get enough of it. Good thing I found a couple of places here that has it. It's still better in California.
(4) The HB Mid-Singles Ward is great. We were fortunate to hear some amazing speakers from the area and Ward Bishopric. From the opening workshops to the Fireside Sunday night, there was a lot of great advice and messages given. One of the best included a talk by their Bishop who listed the "Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Not Married Yet & Top Ten Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Give Up" - directed mainly to the guys. You can read them here.
(5) Disneyland is a ton of fun even without kids. Shirley and I got to spend the day riding with a couple of new guy friends who were great to talk with (definitely makes long lines enjoyable). We got to know quite a bit more about them away from the big conference groups. Plus, it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to hang out in the dark next to a guy - even if it was just while riding Space Mountain.
Guys Worth Naming
I'll start with Ben. Mainly because he just makes me smile.
Ben, who lives in CA, called me the Sunday before we flew out to say hi, see what I had planned for the weekend, and to talk for a minute - very random, as he mentioned in his voice mail. I returned his call and we visited for a few minutes, planning to talk again that week to set up a time to meet.
I give him a lot of credit here. Ben called having just been asked to by Donald, not knowing what I looked like or much about me. He also followed up and eventually scheduled a time to grab yogurt and meet. Big points for what normally is not the most appealing request by someone's uncle. As mentioned before, the HB guys we met were awesome at communicating, mature in meeting new people, and just plain cool.
Unfortunately Ben wasn't planning to attend the conference because he already had something scheduled that weekend. He actually needed to head out of town the night we flew in but still managed to figure out a time we could grab yogurt and meet. We ended up visiting for an hour and 1/2 - and had a great conversation. Did I mention he has a fabulous smile?
Ben did show up for Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, but had to leave early again to head out of town for business. We were only able to have a couple of short conversations before he left, and unfortunately efforts to sit together at the end didn't work out. Because of this I wasn't able to tell him goodbye and mention that I would love to talk again. He did, however, send me a text to say that "getting yogurt on Thursday was great" and gave me an awesome compliment. Did I mention that I was smiling?
Again, I was very impressed with the way he handled things and communicated. I'm not sure if this means we will talk again, but really hope the opportunity comes up. We are friends on FB...which he initiated after our phone conversation.
Can I say here...I LOVE Ben just because he put a smile on Laverne's face. I have been waiting for this to happen for Laverne and I am thrilled that she is back! I only briefly met Ben, but I understand why Laverne is smiling about him. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what happens next for them. Although, there's John too...
I also met John (another CA resident) - who came highly recommended by Donald. Shirley and I ended up meeting him during the first activity after putting together a couple of stories we had heard about him and recognizing it was the guy we were talking to. In many ways he reminded me of Chuck, but with a bit more style. Being a little shy, it was fun to draw him out - which eventually happened.
John spent time with us off and on during the conference, spoke during the Sacrament Meeting, and went with us to Disneyland. He was a lot of fun to talk with and became more and more interesting as we spent time together. He is a very humble guy and never mentioned that he sings/plays the guitar...until after he performed during Open Mic night! So sad we missed it. John and I are now friends on FB and you can hear his music there. He is very talented. And, considering how shy he is, it was surprising to see this side of him. I think there is even more to discover.
John and I have already exchanged emails this week. For now it will be fun just getting to know him more. Hopefully there are more details to come on this!
There are a couple of other guys who played a key role over the weekend, and who may get names later. For now, we'll stick with these two until we see what the future holds.
Summary
This trip was a turning point for me. As the year started I knew I needed to make some changes to feel happier about this new phase in my life. Dating before felt more like a chore, and I'll admit that I was still a bit angry that I had been put in this position...and not by my own choices.
As I tried to address this within myself, I was able to more fully utilize the Gospel to feel happy and even hopeful. Trying to focus on being the best I can be, regardless, has also helped.
I don't know that anything more will come from this specific event, or if I will get a chance to see Ben or John again. Either way, I loved that I had - for the first time in 2 years - a positive experience in dating that left me smiling. I know dating can be fun and don't want to settle for just any guy. I definitely want one who makes me smile. A lot. And now I know they are out there.
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